Breaking the Silence

Well, well, well.......

Call me crazy, but I'd completely forgotten about my verbal wanderings on Blogger!

Yes, its been something like 18 very long months of absolute neglect. No apologies can be offered.... and very little explanation provided why something I used to enjoy doing became so profoundly lost upon me and my minute band of humble blog followers.

When I started this blog spot, it was at a time when two pretty important things were happening. My original intent was to use Blogger as an outlet for creative and expressive writing, which I have always enjoyed immensely. In fact, in the good old days, I even got paid for contributing articles to publications and online web zines........... but that was in the nursery age of social media platforms and the like.

So, what were those two things that completely stopped all forward progress on this blog spot?

Anyone who knows me understands that my daddy day care duty was all consuming, enjoyable as it was. After the birth of our two youngest kids, the simple truth was that luxuries like hours on the keyboard quickly became a thing of a gloriously relaxed past! Having two kids just 20 months apart and who are now about to turn 2 and 4 respectively literally turned life - and my proverbial literary world - upside down, in a fun, doting and rewarding way. Eventually, as push went to shove, our needs changed, the old chook resumed work from maternity leave, I picked up more work and well, for those of you who do have kids its easy to understand that needs always supplant wants.

The other phenomenon that drew my attention was social media. Yes, good old Facebook, the much maligned and even ill tolerated platform that I once despised grew upon me. Sure, the early versions of Facebook didn't give much scope for rabbiting on in lengthy blog-fashion, just like here in wonderful Blogger-land! But more and more, as I use pages like Facebook, I realise that they can be a far superior way to shape, influence and get your message across than sometimes lesser read blog sites (hopefully not THIS one!!!). God forbid, I actually now enjoy the social intercourse and rapidity of message sharing that Facebook has provided... and this little red duck ain't afraid of no Internet ghosts!!

In our camp, the kids are now slowly getting the notion of growing independence and their new-found skills have given them the ability to require a little less attention than they did when they were babies. With that growing sense of freedom, we've been able to do more things that we like and seem to be getting back to being able to fit more into our day. We've learnt that some routines work better than others and have enjoyed applying efficiencies that keep the family on track.

Maybe its a delusional flight of fancy, but the "feeling" of having a little more time and control over our life has brought me back to Blogger. And with all that has been happening in the world, I must say that I have had an increasing sense of restlessness, an almost insatiable desire to start contributing again to the greater social consciousness that exists via the Internet. In this rapidly changing world, INFORMATION is the catalyst to all change. We are all living now in a time unlike any other, where the entire fabric of information and communication is changing for the better. Action across the globe now emanates from the tiniest single flutter of a butterfly wing across somebodies keyboard.... and surely that is a good thing!

So, dear reader(s), its time to get back into it. Its time to break the silence. My online narrative may not be everybody's cup of tea, but its mine nevertheless. This will be my story, my opinion and hopefully sometimes I might just make enough sense to influence one or two people along the way. Of course, I intend to keep the content varied, from personal anecdotes to hopefully more racy commentary - let's just wait and see. And for all the haters and critics out there who think that the land of blog is all about stroking personal ego, you just rest easy in the ignorant comfort that NOT sharing your thoughts will ever do one damn single thing to change the world we live in!

Until next time, let me just say, "it's good to be BACK!"!!!

Hodgie

When The Going Gets Tough

 Have a listen to this: I Get Down, But I Get Up Again



Do you ever get that feeling towards the end of a year that "next year" might hopefully be better than the one you just had? Its that little twink of optimism that somehow things might just be a little easier with the arrival of a brand new year. And sometimes, well, it just seems that things couldn't get any worse than they already may have been, if indeed you've had one of those years you'd rather put behind you.

Then of course, things DO get worse. The problems of a bad year that you've just escaped might pale in comparison when... and if... you DO manage to survive and scrape through another year!

As I wander through life I seem to discover my sense of mortality ever more, every year. I get a bit reflective these days, usually spending a little time over Christmas quietly wishing for a little peace and happiness for my friends and family. That normally involves thinking about things like good health, financial prosperity and sustainability without struggle and hoping that it might flow by all our respective doors. It also means in a purely altruistic sense that I yearn for a general relaxed progression through all our lives that derives, with any luck, from providence and wisdom.

But man, oh man, despite my silly season best wishes and visualisations of a perfect set of conditions that we might all share, 2011 did not start well!!

On a personal note, my decline into an impressive sample of human frailty has tried to step up a notch as we enter this fresh start to a new year. Without the boring details and the self obsessed whimpering of some piteous individuals, suffice it to say that when I saw my doctor at the start of the year and he looked me up and down, he said "its gonna rain". Alas, what the quack actually meant is "its gonna pour" and things have, accordingly, been turning to cyclone blown custard ever since. Yep, its pretty clear that whoever was listening "upstairs" when I mumbled away those karmic good intentions and desire for good health at the end of last year was more interested in planning their own Deity Holiday than entertain my amusing wants for a simpler, healthier year!

And on a national level, what the hell has Queensland (Australia) done to deserve not only record breaking once in a 100 year flooding, only then to find Cyclone Yasi rounding all Queenslanders up like a ravenous dog? I don't think there were too many people in Australia who could ever believe what was happening to our northerly tropical neighbours. There was certainly such widespread destruction and it is without precedent in this country's short history. Even the many overseas visitors I get to talk to through my job were just awestruck by the savage power unleashed by Australia's nature, washing away lives and ruining years and years of toil.... and many of them had already witnessed for themselves the extreme weather events that Europe has endured this winter.

Then of course, we've had major flooding in parts of NSW and to our south, in Victoria. But we'd also be remiss to leave Western Australia out of all this misery; around 70 homes and counting have been completely destroyed by wildly out of control bushfires around Perth, one of which was allegedly started by just one man using his angle grinder on a Total Fire Ban day. Some mothers do raise unintelligent children who never seem to learn, even as grown adults!

Sigh....

And with all the recent bad news, if you haven't felt tempted by now to either cut your own wrists, use prescription antidepressants or just bury your head into your hands, spare a moment for all that has been happening around the globe. Egypt is is in political and social turmoil, the two Korea's are still making the world very, very nervous and freedom of speech man-of-the-moment Julian Assange is still being pursued relentlessly for daring to make people (and countries) accountable for their actions. But why go on? Is it all just more doom and gloom as our little ant colony here on Planet Earth heats up and threatens to swallow everything we rely on for sustainable life? At times,we are all so complacent and self interested that it seems we couldn't organise a piss up at a brewery even if we were paid to.

Harsh?

Yep, in fact, I'm being overly harsh.

What has really fascinated me as the early weeks of this year have rolled by is that when the going gets tough, some people are more than capable of getting going. Witness the people of Queensland. Night after night during recent televised coverage of the floods and cyclone, there was the same persistent resilience being demonstrated by a growing tide of people who had lost everything. No matter what they had endured, no matter how hard or long it would be to recover, they decided that THEY WOULD endure!

Despite our human frailty, regardless of our fallibility and apparent inability to get it right most of the time, here were these Queenslanders, backs up against the wall, but defiantly determined that even without a single possession left to their name, they WOULD start again.

And then came the same news from those devastated by fire and flood in other areas of Australia. And lo and behold, through the ponderings of social networking media like Twitter and Facebook, we've even started to see the same bull headed determination from people in places like Egypt, where despite the odds, people ARE standing up and becoming united.

How do they do it, after all that they've been through?

We're a funny breed us humans. When you start to lose faith in your own human-ness and humanity as a whole, its hard to believe that large populations can band together, fight their enemy... whether it be natural or armed forces.... and rise amongst the tyranny of complacency. If THAT doesn't make you believe that you should NEVER give up on yourself or fellow man, then you really should be thinking hard, again.

As I sit and reflect on all that happened throughout the start of this year, I am sharply reminded that a lot of the time when we learn about something bad, or hear news that we'd prefer not to be hearing, it can be a real blessing in disguise. Without challenges, in the absence of highs and lows, life would indeed become boring. Its only when we learn to recognise that good things CAN and DO arise from bad things that it helps to shape our optimism for the future.

As the line from the movie by Dino De Laurentis said "without change, something sleeps within us. Let the sleeper awaken!" (Dune).

Whatever lies ahead, it will be just fine. Just walk on in to those waves of change and keep faith. I've been energised and humbled by the courage of people who in every right could be excused for giving up, and as such, I think its our obligation to be inspired to get up again, no matter how hard we might get knocked down.

Keep the smile on your dial dear bloggers!

Catchya's soon

Hodgie

all text and pics copyright of mark hodges 2011

And So This Is Christmas

God, it seems, has his foot on the accelerator! Or, at the very least, he has deputised a Time Lord with a very keen desire to keep things moving ever onwards at an alarming rate. I mean, how in hell has it ended up being Christmas..... *already*???!!!

I don't know about you dear bloggers, but I've found the seconds have just whizzed by this year, quicker than I can keep up with. It hardly seems like we've got over the fruit cake induced, Christmas Pudding hangover's of 2009 and yet, here it is, Christmas *2010*! No wonder they talk about our mortal coil - it seems the older we all get, the tighter and faster time coils and loops out of our very lives.

Bah! At least the Christmas shopping has been done. The credit card has been punished, duly, for yet another festive season. Our fake tree has been adorned with all manner of tinsel. And the obligatory catch up with in laws has all but been arranged.

If you are like us, you really look forward to the joy of Christmas, but simultaneously get drained by the commercialisation and insanity of it all. I'm sure there must be an easier way, but the hype and expectation always seems to intrude on reality.

I guess one very worthwhile thing will make this Christmas different for us. If you've got kids, at least the occasion gets back some of its old shine, some of the real meaning of why we celebrate Christmas. We've now got our new baby joining us for her first Christmas ever and together with her big brother, we can really celebrate the joy of new life and new hope.

Whatever your plans, I do hope that this silly season provides you with some peace, happiness and a way to reflect on the more meaningful things in life. While the clock hands seem to just spin around the dial with complete abandon, finding just one brief moment to appreciate whatever it is that has been good in your life must surely be the most precious thing that you could receive. Being grateful for what we have, not what we have lost is probably one of the best therapies around at this time of year.

Anyway dear bloggers, I think I hear the reindeer bells approaching on the southerly breeze. Be good, make sure you leave out some carrots for Rudolph... and a glass of whiskey for the old fat boy in the big red suit =)

See you next year!
Hodgie

Endless Summer

Ah, summertime!

The sound of cicadas. Christmas beetles banging on the window pane trying to get into the light. Droning mosquitoes, dive bombing your precious helix rim while you try to sleep. And who could forget to mention snakes, spiders, ants, blowflies.... and torrential flooding rain!

Day Five of our southern hemisphere summer and the weather officially SUCKS. Out in the Central West and tablelands where we live, it just hasn't stopped bucketing down for what seems weeks now. It was great to begin with - it greened up pastures for stock, made the summer harvests look like being premium and filled up plenty of empty country dams. But, enough is enough.... we now have major flooding throughout country NSW and to be blunt about it, its all getting a little boring.

And, to be completely self absorbed about all this perplexing precipitation, I've been on holidays for the last four weeks and its been wet just about every steenking day! Yeah, yeah, I've got my hands full of baby nappies and toddler training issues at the moment, but I've also got a farm to keep going! While it keeps flogging down like cats 'n dogs, it makes it pretty hard to get out there and run things over with the tractor or break things that I'm supposed to be fixing (like I usually do).

Like most people out in this part of the country, while the rain really is quiet a blessing and it hasn't caused any threat to our livelihood, it just gets to a point where seasonally, you expect to see SUNSHINE. Talk about seasonal depression and cabin fever, I can now understand why the Poms go feral during long grey months of winter! I just wanna go outdoors and go climbing, or bushwalking and not have to dress up like its still winter time!

Okay, okay, I know what some people might be saying. Yes, we should be grateful for the rain (we are). Ah, yeah it causes more debate on global warming (it's needed). But what about my motorbike??? The poor ol' Ducati hasn't been started in weeks and weeks because of the mushy wet clay road to get off our farm!

In my act of rebellious defiance against the Deity of Bad Weather, I decided enough was enough the other day. I purposely wore a light spray jacket, waterproof trail shoes rather than boots and headed off into the wild.

Man, did I get wet =8^(

Bardens Lookout and climbing area at Mt York looked like a giant wave had just splashed over the entire cliff line. Deserted, miserable and clouded in fog, I still made a determined slog along a very wet cliff line to admire the steep lines and overhanging roofs that comprise the fab climbing routes, particularly along Jean Genie and Little Triggers Wall.  If only it dries out, I'll drag Rope Carrying Second (otherwise known as Al) and some gear back here to do some sport routes =)

Unfazed by the weather's valiant attempt to leave me soaked like a sandy beach at high tide, I then ventured out to the mighty Victoria Falls, at Mt Victoria. Wateralls, especially in heavy rain, seem to get rarely photographed, so I made it my grand mission to record the Cascades in flood. No one told me though that the 2.5 hour return steep walkdown to the falls would end up being like a kayak slalom course, complete with rivers of water all the way down the single track!

I didn't start this walk til after 5pm. I made it out just before dark... and with no phone reception, no shelter and no torch, it could have ended up a very wet, lonely and miserable night if something HAD gone wrong. Still, that was the challenge and I've gotta say in all seriousness, it really was just what I needed. The scents from the wet forest, the thundering sound of the falls, the lonely bird calls and majestic glimpses of towering cliff lines through the mist were just glorious =)

Its taken four days now to dry out my trail shoes. The few photo's that I did manage to take were all pretty lacklustre as its soooo hard keeping the rain off your lens. But you know what, its been fun splashing around outside in a weird kinda way, a bit like being a kid jumping about in rain gutters >;^)

If we don't get washed away or slide away in a landslide, I'll  be back with another post at the end of the week. In the meantime, keep your brolly up the right way.

Hodgie

Got this feeling inside of me....

Three weeks down the track since baby Sophie arrived and life has moved into another phase. Hang on, did I say "another phase"??? Well, maybe that should be another *universe*!!

Fast paced, at times extremely demanding, yet completely and utterly satisfying, life with two kids under 2 is certainly now far more energetic. I've got this feeling inside me that what used to be the remnants of our past selves will quickly be splintered into a thousand separate memories. Life with a new baby and toddler most definitely revolves around their sleep, feeds and nappy cycle!

Still, we've proved that we *can* be organised and get out and about to lead "normal" lives. We've already introduced Sophie to 2 hour car trips and weekends away from home and she has coped outstandingly well. She's been subjected to post birth visitor hugging sessions and endured hours of octopus-like embraces from doting extended family. Sophie even had her first Italian restaurant outing on her 9th day... and despite the din of spaghetti munching patrons and the aroma of garlic fried calamari, she made it through the night without hiccup.

Her big brother Ryan also recently got to enjoy pulling the community health nurses' office apart when we visited for Sophie's postnatal checkup. While lil' Sophes was being poked, prodded, measured and weighed, Ryan gabbled about pulling apart whatever he could manage to find. Sophie passed all her health and hearing checks, while Ryan obviously satisfied his desire to leave EVERYTHING looking like Cyclone Tracey had just been through - just what a toddler needs to express his inner self >;^)

Both munchkins even got to sit on Santa's lap last Friday. Well, when I say lap, I do mean "sit on dadda's lap, kinda close to the weird fat guy in the big red suit", but not directly in contact with Santa. It was part of the Christmas party for the mum's 'n bubs group that Helen belongs to and despite a dozen or more wailing babes who weren't quite sure how to interpret Santa's motives, it was a fun day out for all at Jumbo's Jungle Playground at Bathurst.

We've even pulled off a nice cafe outing with both our rug rats, culminating in a fun stroll through a playground and park at Blackheath. Who'd of thought that simple things like feeding ducks and watching your genetic reproductions of oneself could be so entertaining?! Ah, life as parents IS good! =)

Enjoy the time while ya here folks!! And check the beta on this if you wanna get the feeling inside of you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLaNf6qVUCo&feature=channel (Groove Me - Maximum Balloon feat. Theophilus London music vid. 5/5 Hodgie Stars =)

Hodgie

Pretty. In Pink!

 Watch the clip Pretty in Pink - Psychedelic Furs (1986)


Strapped to a skyrocket, we prepare to be shot into the sky at an alarming pace. Its not the going up that worries me, nor the speed at which we will ascend, but it's that potential BANG!! at the end.... that's the scary part. But, we have gone past the point of turning back, its onwards and upwards now - and we've got a brand new baby girl home from hospital, just four days after she was born!!! =8^O

Oh man, isn't she pretty in pink! Isn't she?

Its funny how surreal this all seems. The better half has a baby by caesarian one day, has a few short days of sumptuous nursing care and attention, then its "off you go, you're on your own now". As we strapped our brand new baby girl into the child restraint in our car, I thought to myself, 'how many people get the same sense of awesome responsibility just about now? No.... check that.... I think its more like a very LARGE brick falls out of the sky onto your head which reads: 'REALITY - IT'S YOURS'!!!!

It doesn't seem to matter how prepared you are, or how many times you've done this all before - there's still this amazing blend of wonder, doubt, confidence and blessing that washes over you like a summer storm.

Sophie was lucky though. We brought her home to a loving household, with doting grandparents on standby ready to receive their long awaited little gift from the heavens. Both Nana's are tickled PINK , and glad to see a bit of gender balance being injected into our small family. My parents especially were digging the new grand daughter gig and they stayed for the first few days after Sophie came home to lend an experienced set of hands. It was much appreciated.

Anyway, a week has gone by now and Sophie, it seems, has been here before. She has already settled into good routines with 4 hourly no fuss breastfeeds and she sleeps like a quiet little lamb. When she is awake, she is calm and serene and takes things in without distress, with a hint of knowing that you might expect from old souls.

Despite the odd worry, tears and fears that our lil' fella Ryan might feel outta sorts with all the new changes, he's done impeccably well. He's shown a real interest in Sophie Belle and been prepared to share his toys and mother's love without jealousy. Mum can't pick him up though (he's now 13kgs!!) as she needs to wait another 5 weeks or so for her caesar op scar to heal.

Daddy Day Care has already been doing his bit with the heavy loads - hanging the washing, lifting Ryan all day long and moving anything that the ol' chook can't lift. What was the line in that old Madonna song.... "everything I give comes back to me"??? Yep, it has, already... things couldn't get any better than this =)

Kids grow up so fast. One day they are in nappies and everything you do seems to be just for them. The next, they are teenagers stepping out into the big bad world. There's only a few precious moments in the vast scale of time where our kids actually WANT US to be around, to be part of their life.

Take the time to be there. It doesn't ever last long enough.

Be good blogmunchkins, talk to you again soon!!

Hodgie

Fast Forward!

Now I know what a DVD feels like, especially after someone with the remote has skipped through loads of scenes at high speed!

Well, to say that things have moved along since the last post just a few days ago would be to mildly understate reality. Put it this way, if we were at Cape Canaveral, we would definitely be hearing "Houston, we have a lift off!"! After waiting and waiting for nine whole months....well, 39.5 weeks actually... to meet our newest addition to the gene pool, she made an Express Post delivery last Friday, 12 November.

Bugger this waiting for mum to get her body into gear! Stuff the waiting around for the cervix to ripen and dilate! Our girl decided that while mum might be a great brooder, she sure doesn't seem like much of a hatcher. Doctors... and babies, it seems, don't like waiting.

In reality, mother hen just wasn't showing all the signs of a healthy and normal late pregnancy. For medical reasons the decision was made to to take the safer journey of a c-section delivery. And Friday was the chosen day!!

Do you know just how weird it is to walk into hospital with your better half in the morning, only to be confronted only hours later with this cute little wriggling gift from the womb? Its like going from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds flat! No easing into things, no build up of expectation and no endless hours of hearing mum groan like a chook with an egg stuck half in and half out. Nup, in fact, after what seems like 20 or so minutes after the caesarian is commenced, there you are trying to grip the side of your chair so you can get rid of the sense of disbelief that its all over. Not that I mean that in any negative way - but its just all over so damn quickly!

Never mind me, I think I'm just in mourning. I'm gonna miss that giant pregnant rice bubble that has slipped into bed beside me for the last 9 months. Now the baby is here, there is a little sadness in me (soppy as it is), that this beautiful little stage of glowing motherhood is over once again for my little chook =8^(

But, on the bright side, we now have a BABY GIRL!!!!!!!

World, meet Sophie. Sophie, this is the world!

If anyone does actually read this dribble of mine, you might be happy to know that everything did really go just like textbook. Both mum and bub are healthy and doing fine. Sophie weighed in at a small, but worry free 2.96kg, or 6lb 8.5oz in the old scale. She's a good stretch of a girl just like her mother and measured 51 cm from crown to heel.

She's already met her big brother (Ryan, 20 months) and had her first hospital bath to wash away that greasy coat of vernix and dried blood. Mum has been able to get the environmentally sustainable breast milk supply flowing freely and the pair of them have already imprinted and bonded without any drama. Even Ryan seems to be okay about having a little sister... although she *did* bribe him with a small Lego gift that she managed to buy on the way out from the womb >;^)

With luck, mum and bub will be home early this week, then our family life can settle into the routine that millions have experienced before. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but for us its the small things that count. The joy of experiencing life again through kids eyes is something every hardcore punter out there should do!

From little things, big things grow =)

Be good Bloggers, I'm off to visit my two amazing women in hospital.

Hodgie